Empowered Women v.s. Parasitic Women

When you are a woman who owns herself, are balanced in your approach and has boundaries, you may encounter at least one woman in your life who soon after your first meeting will make it a challenge to try to possess you like you’re their shiny new toy.  They begin with a shower of constant compliments and love bombing.  Over time those compliments begin to turn backhanded. After a while they may begin to throw subliminal insults online or disguise them as jokes to your face,  followed by the per usual “just kidding”. When your boundaries stay sturdy as a result of noting and observing their behavior, they begin to feel frustrated since their shower of compliments and the pretense of “being friendly” didn’t really move you as they had hoped. You have a good sense of picking up on manipulation.  Although you pick up on this,  you keep your demeanor balanced. When you remove yourself from the situation. Their frustration becomes more evident as they try to obsessively maintain contact and bombard you with questions asking “are you mad” or invasive questions like “where have you been”.

Eventually some employ more aggressive tactics to continue a connection with you. They may become confused and frustrated by your not allowing them to manipulate your moods and reactions so they will need to create conflict by doing things to try to get you out of character and trigger you. Chaos and conflict is another soothing method for women like these, #1 because they want an opportunity to cry victim once you waste energy defending yourself, and label you the offender. #2 they want to draw energy out of you and feel satisfaction reducing you to their level. When continuing to keep your distance they’ll at the least resent you for it and simply move on,  but at most they may say you’re stuck up or think you’re better than others as a way to evade accountability. At worst they may concoct and spread rumors about you. 

Some of these women will be all around rude to you  because they are triggered by your self-reliance. Despite their rudeness they expect openness from you and will endlessly wait for you to extend olive branches so they can purposely reject you. Their rudeness is simply a cry for your attention and your reaction would be a doorway for them to attempt to disempower you. If you don’t remain open, and go on about your business or are the type to swiftly not give energy to this type of behavior, they will resort to the gossip and slander mentioned above. They’ll say you’re the one that’s difficult, stuck up, rude and closed off. Basically an attempt at projecting who they are on you. 

To some all of this up, this is the female narcissist. They’ll try to remove you from your own position of self-ownership and confidence, but to no avail. If they grow in the least bit they’ll realize that’s impossible to do because that self ownership and confidence comes from within and from a place that is intangible. A place they can never reach. Some may say, why not give them a taste of their own medicine? In my many years of learning about interpersonal relationships through my own experiences I’ve concluded that these types of personalities want to manipulate your reactions. They want you to be just like them. That’s their goal. These are people that enjoy chaos and want to pull you into theirs. People do not realize they’re being ripped off and give away their power easily by reacting to these people. 

The whole narrative of this type of girl is “I see this powerful woman that owns herself. I want her to validate me and approve of me so that I can feel better about myself and by reducing her with my dysfunction I can feel for once that I’m better than her and women like her. I don’t believe in balance and I am addicted to power struggle so instead of operating on an equal level to her and realizing that I am just as worthy as her, I will continue to refuse to do the work and would rather take the easy way out by reducing her to the best of my ability. Reducing her to the level I believe I’m in. I want to make her worship me because her power reminds me that I am not powerful enough and I envy that.  I want to make her pay for my shortcomings and punish her for doing the self healing and self loving internal work that I refuse to do for myself out of laziness and fear of confronting myself.”

Get this: Women who radiate a quiet confidence and  a neutral disposition while being self-reliant and self-loving got there because they FACED THEIR DARKEST SHADOWS. THEY DID THE WORK! Attacking them or trying to riddle their lives with drama will never get you to their level or higher. That will only bring you down even further. If you want to reach that level you must take accountability of your dysfunctional drama-addicted behavior. These women you’re targeting did hard work and faced, accepted, healed and continue a life long healing journey through recognizing the worst part of themselves and therefore recognizing the inner goddess. They don’t operate from a place of lack nor spend time trying to “take” someone else’s power because they know they have their own. They’re too busy filling their own cups and nurturing themselves as should you. Going into your shadow and becoming self-aware is the key to liberation. 

For those who are on the verge of awakening: Parasitic behavior keeps you going in circles. Being courageous and facing yourself takes you places and gives you access to the best version of you. Being courageous and accountable leads to living your best life spiritually and mentally, fueling many miracles into physical manifestation. The only way to advance is to take accountability of your own bs!

Owning Yourself

When you stand in your own power you don’t fret about how someone with more money, status, “personality”, skills or more of anything, will upstage you. Standing in your own power means to have pride in yourself and what you are made of. Weather it is socially comparable as less than or more than another. In reality nothing is comparable. We all bring our own gifts to this world. I come across many people of all walks of life who are socially more successful in many areas that I may not be as successful in. I treat them with respect and acknowledge them as I would anyone else “less” or “more” successful, and it is easy for me to do that because I have overall, a healthy sense of self-respect and self-love, which I continue to work on as much as possible.

Vixen, Source: Google Images

Working on your own inner healing leads to self-appreciation. Taking a stand in not remaining stuck in certain emotions, acknowledging those emotions, and working through them, doing the spiritual work necessary and giving yourself TLC, keeps you clear of remaining stuck in insecurity. Insecurity is an emotion none of us can ever avoid but we can work through and heal from it as new stages of being and maturity come about. Acknowledging that you are insecure and working through those feelings is essential to moving forward. Regardless of outside circumstances, you will be able to network and mingle with others peacefully when you work to keep yourself in check and come to the understanding that you are a valuable person as others are. You will come to terms with the fact that everyone is different and special in their own way. No one can take your importance away from you and you can’t take the importance away from anyone. Being empowered means that the presence or existence of others and their talents, gifts, blessings and journeys will not drive you to want to destroy them or knock them off their focus in any way. You will be more inclined to focus on your progress.

Standing in your power can mean that you will keep pushing in the face of the opposition that tries to keep you distracted from the power you have within. A lot of the time that means to refrain from lowering yourself to the level of an aggressor. Simply not engaging at all.  Everyone is powerful, some people just don’t recognize that. Truly powerful people don’t feel the need to attack, be at war with or belittle anyone.

Broken Sisterhood

Despite so much adversity that goes on among us women, I feel spirit has always directed me towards healing myself and helping other women heal from the wounds that we have caused each other. Getting away from the excessive pride and ego that we use to protect our feelings and emotions.
There is a balance that I try to achieve when I face the difficult situations that have surfaced with other women. I myself have fallen many times in the traps of coming from ego in order to defend myself. I remained stuck in defense mode for long periods of time. I want to remain in the practice of simply being carefree and welcoming, which is my original nature, despite any push-back I receive. I am not at all, by any means, saying to be passive in the face of blatant disrespect. But I will not let any experiences that are negative, allow me to change my overall nature in new situations.
This is one of my goals, which I have achieved in the past but as of late, have fallen back into that habit of becoming closed and withdrawn when I have been “attacked”.

The older I have gotten and the more I have done the work to increase the love for myself, the more I face uncomfortable situations with women. I have gone within to find out why and part of my purpose seems to be that I have to work with women somehow,  by directly addressing the actions and issues at hand instead of just withdrawing and “taking the high road” or “keeping it moving” as I say.  I should be acting as more of a teacher in these situations.

I have most of the time avoided “worsening” situations by not bothering and moving on. Just letting it be whatever it is and leaving that person to “take the bs elsewhere”. This in itself can be very dysfunctional because that person may need, right then and there, for me to immediately tell them how fucked up they are behaving. My whole philosophy has always been “They are grown, they should know better.” which is true but sometimes people need to hear about themselves because others have not dared to speak up on their foolishness. Then again there are times when it is necessary to not bother with the situation altogether, specially if games are being played and it is a situation in which the other party shows signs of some personality disorder, such as NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). Those are situations you need to run from immediately, as the person’s only goal is to keep you depleted and feeling destroyed and that is another story for another day.

Another issue I have dealt with is where I let my guard down for certain people, while my intuition clearly told me otherwise and it resulted in the person, down the line, becoming rude towards me out of nowhere, almost to “test” me because they thought my normal positive attitude was phony or they just couldn’t stand the ongoing lack of drama. Some people are very addicted to adversity so they seek out this kind of trouble when it isn’t called for or necessary. Just to pass the time or because it fuels and excites them. This is where my intuition mixed with that same openness needed to come in. I was only open at the time and ignored my senses. People like this often move on when you finally distance yourself and send a clear message that you’re not with the bs.

What I want to do ultimately is to continue working on these issues, in order to move on from this negative feedback loop. I want to have a better outlook as I did before and see the best in everyone else. I do have, even presently some positive experiences but I want to leave behind the weary feelings and distrust that sometimes creep up on me, the fear of letting my guard down. I am working to achieve the balance I once had not long ago where I was using my intuition more proactively. The past few months I seemed to just withdraw from everything and that is not conducive to new opportunities or positive situations. I want to get to where I am able to fulfill this calling and work with other women in the process, helping to heal the divine feminine. In my quest towards life coaching this is a necessary step.

What’s Meant For You Cannot Be Intercepted

I refuse to accept anyone’s view of what’s perfect and I am letting go of all the learned beliefs I have held, surrounding the false view of perfection. I do not allow anyone’s view of how I should behave, and what I “should” suppress or express, dictate how I live my life. When you live into yourself and go with your own rhythm, you will begin to shed the old. Ditch old habits, and old circumstances and people who’s precence was never for your higher advancement, eventually becoming part of your past. You become acquainted with those who desire the same fairness, peace and success that you are developing.

Part of the metamorphosis are the lingering few from the past that are trying hard to stick around to prevent your change from happening. The effort is a waste of energy because those changes are inevitable and ruled by a higher order. They will act in the form of harsh critics and downers. They will even try to bring you into pointless competition. Changes are happening all around and these folks are resisting the changes. Resistance to them brings nothing but pain, anger, feelings of victimhood and of feeling left out. I can think of a few individuals who are trying to hold onto battles that have long ended. Battles in which no one was the winner. Battles that they realized they were ultimately just fighting with themselves. To these people I say it is time to embrace what’s up ahead on the horizon. Give to God, The Universe, Source, your Angels and Guides, whoever you believe in, hand them the baggage!!!!! Let them help you throw away the anger, resentment, envy, jealousy, competitiveness, self-pity, powerlessness and feelings of victimhood. Let the people who are on their own journey to positive change, move on without your noise. They will move on regardless of it but please make it less painful for you by embracing your own change! You have a path all your own and it’s your choice, you can choose right now to make it awesome. Embrace the new. Embrace love of yourself, so much that you feel no urge to bring down another. Realize you are a powerful creator and that power can continue being used negatively, holding yourself back. Creating an unpleasant reality. Or it can be used positively by gathering all of your strength and energy and injecting it into the new, the exciting. Imagine what you can create starting now. With persistently being mindful of your thoughts and self-talk.

Harsh critics are often harsher on themselves that anyone else. Cut that out..begin a routine of positive self talk. You are worthy of all the good things you have been taught to not feel worthy of. Some things become so engrained in our minds that we do not even notice the beliefs we hold. These can keep us from moving forward. Remind yourself, constantly. Repeat it to yourself that you are worthy of all that is good. Eventually it becomes a part of your reality. Don’t hold yourself back, and don’t attempt to hold others back. It will be wasted effort and only create a sour reality wrapped in a false sense of initial victory. Ask yourself: Who or what am I really fighting? Where did these feelings begin? Why is this person’s positive actions aggravating to the point of wanting to bring them down? That is the beginning of healing.

Accepting any issues, no matter how embarrassing or painful, is a step to self acceptance and self-love. This is a step towards transforming the issue. Getting to the root of certain feelings and your earliest memories of those feelings, will help you realize your true worth. You were never undeserving of the best, you just encountered someone, at some point of your life, that may have made you feel that way because of their own feelings of inadequacy, anger, spite, etc. Free yourself. Break the cycle.