Empowered Women v.s. Parasitic Women

When you are a woman who owns herself, are balanced in your approach and has boundaries, you may encounter at least one woman in your life who soon after your first meeting will make it a challenge to try to possess you like you’re their shiny new toy.  They begin with a shower of constant compliments and love bombing.  Over time those compliments begin to turn backhanded. After a while they may begin to throw subliminal insults online or disguise them as jokes to your face,  followed by the per usual “just kidding”. When your boundaries stay sturdy as a result of noting and observing their behavior, they begin to feel frustrated since their shower of compliments and the pretense of “being friendly” didn’t really move you as they had hoped. You have a good sense of picking up on manipulation.  Although you pick up on this,  you keep your demeanor balanced. When you remove yourself from the situation. Their frustration becomes more evident as they try to obsessively maintain contact and bombard you with questions asking “are you mad” or invasive questions like “where have you been”.

Eventually some employ more aggressive tactics to continue a connection with you. They may become confused and frustrated by your not allowing them to manipulate your moods and reactions so they will need to create conflict by doing things to try to get you out of character and trigger you. Chaos and conflict is another soothing method for women like these, #1 because they want an opportunity to cry victim once you waste energy defending yourself, and label you the offender. #2 they want to draw energy out of you and feel satisfaction reducing you to their level. When continuing to keep your distance they’ll at the least resent you for it and simply move on,  but at most they may say you’re stuck up or think you’re better than others as a way to evade accountability. At worst they may concoct and spread rumors about you. 

Some of these women will be all around rude to you  because they are triggered by your self-reliance. Despite their rudeness they expect openness from you and will endlessly wait for you to extend olive branches so they can purposely reject you. Their rudeness is simply a cry for your attention and your reaction would be a doorway for them to attempt to disempower you. If you don’t remain open, and go on about your business or are the type to swiftly not give energy to this type of behavior, they will resort to the gossip and slander mentioned above. They’ll say you’re the one that’s difficult, stuck up, rude and closed off. Basically an attempt at projecting who they are on you. 

To some all of this up, this is the female narcissist. They’ll try to remove you from your own position of self-ownership and confidence, but to no avail. If they grow in the least bit they’ll realize that’s impossible to do because that self ownership and confidence comes from within and from a place that is intangible. A place they can never reach. Some may say, why not give them a taste of their own medicine? In my many years of learning about interpersonal relationships through my own experiences I’ve concluded that these types of personalities want to manipulate your reactions. They want you to be just like them. That’s their goal. These are people that enjoy chaos and want to pull you into theirs. People do not realize they’re being ripped off and give away their power easily by reacting to these people. 

The whole narrative of this type of girl is “I see this powerful woman that owns herself. I want her to validate me and approve of me so that I can feel better about myself and by reducing her with my dysfunction I can feel for once that I’m better than her and women like her. I don’t believe in balance and I am addicted to power struggle so instead of operating on an equal level to her and realizing that I am just as worthy as her, I will continue to refuse to do the work and would rather take the easy way out by reducing her to the best of my ability. Reducing her to the level I believe I’m in. I want to make her worship me because her power reminds me that I am not powerful enough and I envy that.  I want to make her pay for my shortcomings and punish her for doing the self healing and self loving internal work that I refuse to do for myself out of laziness and fear of confronting myself.”

Get this: Women who radiate a quiet confidence and  a neutral disposition while being self-reliant and self-loving got there because they FACED THEIR DARKEST SHADOWS. THEY DID THE WORK! Attacking them or trying to riddle their lives with drama will never get you to their level or higher. That will only bring you down even further. If you want to reach that level you must take accountability of your dysfunctional drama-addicted behavior. These women you’re targeting did hard work and faced, accepted, healed and continue a life long healing journey through recognizing the worst part of themselves and therefore recognizing the inner goddess. They don’t operate from a place of lack nor spend time trying to “take” someone else’s power because they know they have their own. They’re too busy filling their own cups and nurturing themselves as should you. Going into your shadow and becoming self-aware is the key to liberation. 

For those who are on the verge of awakening: Parasitic behavior keeps you going in circles. Being courageous and facing yourself takes you places and gives you access to the best version of you. Being courageous and accountable leads to living your best life spiritually and mentally, fueling many miracles into physical manifestation. The only way to advance is to take accountability of your own bs!

Letting Others Accept Themselves

People should be allowed to increase their self-acceptance and self-love while they are a work in progress. Fighting against that simply shows a in lack of self-focus. Why would the self-acceptance of another regardless of what is going on with their body, bother you? Because you are escaping from your own issues.

You know, those silly internet doctors who claim “concern” over the health of  people who are heavier. They have such self righteous attitudes, a false sense of superiority and display covert/overt bullying. Yet don’t inflict the same vitriol towards those who are drug addicts, skinny people who overeat, heavy smokers or those who are self-destructive in other ways. Anyone can tell that these people do not truly care to see a person change for the better, they simply want to feel “better than” the person by going on health tirades. They are simply full of hatred.

Most overweight people I’ve come across are advocating to be treated fairly. That is the reason behind “body positivity”. They are not ‘less than’ for being overweight. They’re not trying to force and convince you to want them with their body positivity posts, or even like them as romantic partners. But they do want to assert to the world that they are just as much worthy of positive treatment, a relationship, and self-love as anyone who isn’t overweight. They don’t deserve to be marginalized because of it.

People like to deflect a lot on this topic by saying that overweight people are forcing others to like them. No, it’s simply about fair treatment. It’s crazy to me how many people turn into doctors and medical experts just to have an excuse to berate, mistreat and feel better than overweight people. Some of these types are still under the heavy brainwashing of the media, manipulated only to accept images that are to society’s and media standards. They have been duped into being irrationally and almost psychotically angry at those who don’t fit that standard. The problem is not the person who “needs to exercise”, the problem is the internet doctor’s narcissistic bullshit. The problem is the condescending attitudes of the people who are simply too unhappy with themselves to be ok with the happiness of others.

As a person who isn’t overweight, I don’t feel the need to berate a person who is, because I don’t need to use others to uplift myself. There’s no need to place someone else below you in order to feel good if you are at least somewhat content with yourself. There’s no excuse to speak to people in a derogatory manner and resort to insults because someone is simply asking to be treated fairly. It sounds like there are some underlying issues within the offenders themselves and they use certain situations in order to direct their vitriol, the same vitriol they feel towards themselves. it’s irrational and shows that there are shortcomings and self-loathing the offenders are running from.

There are ways to effectively encourage people to lose weight and mistreating them is not one of them. This is more of a tactic of putting them “in their place” as if they are less than. The culprits are trying to make them feel bad about themselves. Striving to rob them of any good feelings and acceptance they have towards their current selves. “how dare they like themselves?”. every decent person deserves to like themselves regardless of their current state of health/outer looks. People with true healthy confidence and those who love themselves or on the journey there are the ones who actually want to see others improve..they do not use anger, superiority complexes, self rightness or abuse as tactics towards so called “helping” others make changes. Those are tactics that abusers employ when they do not want to see you improve. They want you to “know your place” and feel discouraged.

Everyone who is a work in progress has a right to feel happy in the moment if their spirit calls for it. They should feel joy while they are a work in progress because it brings even more positive changes into one’s life. Joy propels them towards those changes. Being happy and present in the moment doesn’t mean you’re settling. Only those with a rigid mindset, who do not allow themselves happiness due to some deep inner guilt they harbor, think this way. They are the ones who become angry towards another who doesn’t fit societal standards yet dares to feel joy. Because they feel that person  should not radiate more joy than they do.

The attitudes of the people who berate others , remind me of those situations when people who have been unpopular or mistreated for a very long time,  finally decide to love themselves.  Bullies and those who were comfortable with the lack of self love of that individual, come out of the woodwork and decide to label them arrogant in an attempt to gaslight them into dimming their light, and put them in that lower “place” which the offender feels that person belongs. It is an attempt at stopping the person who they deem “unworthy of feeling good about themselves” from feeling a higher sense of self worth than the offenders themselves.

Society is collectively sadistic. Many people don’t want those who have been unjustly treated or made fun of, or those who don’t fit standards, to have any bit of shine. It seems to threaten everyone else’s false sense of security. I would love to see people who are overweight, achieve their body goals or get to a healthy weight and state of being, for the right reasons. I don’t need to be nasty towards them to express this and I don’t need to give them unsolicited advice. To me health is the most important v.s societal standards. If being big didn’t cause health problems then I wouldn’t have any concern at all or be preoccupied with their weight.

For some people, losing weight is extremely challenging. Weather it’s a thyroid issue, deeply rooted emotional issues causing over-eating, which is not easy to overcome or what have you. Some give up, because again it’s tough. Everyone has their own cross to carry in life. Even for those who just won’t lose weight because they don’t feel like it, that is their life choice that can totally have consequences health-wise but what is to be gained by being hostile towards them? An egotistical false sense of temporary satisfaction? Why try to control so much, what other people choose to do with their life and health? Throwing insults or going on “high and mighty” health tirades, does not show true concern. It shows that you aren’t even in control of your own life, you more than likely beat yourself up constantly at night while acting like your shit doesn’t stink during the day and your self worth is more than likely not coming from a genuine place.

Being Empowered

When you have the power your soul almost bursts with a scorching yet silent will. You can stand on your own two feet, feel abundant and whole within yourself, marking your space in this existence. You are not arrogant yet you easily attract respect and when attracting this respect you also respect and acknowledge other people, their will, and beliefs and rights to confidence and empowerment. You respect the space they take up in this world as well and operate on an even keel with them. You possess the confidence and calm to face most troubles in life.You have a gentle type of strength yet you can be loving, kind and lighthearted. When in that same space, your energy and a few assertive words indicate strongly that you aren’t with mind games and bullshit.

When you are self-empowered times may arrive when you may be tried and challenged. Being this way means there may be people who will try to take that thing that is so innately built and intertwined with you, away. They will feel like your presence alone takes away from their flawed sense of authority. Flawed sense of authority, as in false superiority above others. Exuding aggression and force as their one and only source of power. A short-lived power that only serves to chip-away at, exhaust and not replenish others spirit. That only serves to keep them on the road to more unnecessary battles and enemies.

This type of person likes to test their subjects to make them fall from grace. Any showing of inner strength combined with peaceful coexistence with others and a self assured nature will disturb a person who is not yet aligned with being at peace with who they are. Their need to prove that they are strong and above others through actions like fighting, bullying, and passive-aggression, is sign of desperation to be seen as someone more important than what they really are, and to be seen as someone in control, with more authority than others when they aren’t. They see a person who is comfortable in their skin and in their being and it rattles that person who does not yet know how to be comfortable within.

In some cases those who operate this way may secretly love the way you carry yourself and the way you vibe but their need for conflict, competition and comparison, because of a lack of self love and awareness, will lead them to simultaneously feel contempt towards you. They may feel out of control and not know how to act towards you, may act extremely fickle, acting friendly one minute and throwing below-the-belt jabs the next. Almost resembling how narcissists and sociopaths behave because of their chronic and deeply rooted envy. In many cases, even in experiences I have had myself, the subject turned out to be a sociopath.

Being in your power means you consciously begin to or have done the work that many people avoid and that is diving deep into the depths of your internal problems. Addressing to yourself why it is that you have a certain insecurity or a certain disappointment in yourself, low self worth, and resentment. Being brave enough to dig into your past in order to find the root of the problems you have today. Those things are hard to face for everyone. The thing is that to gain power you have to move through those emotions and old wounds in order to process them. From there you move into the realization that in reality you are worth so much and simply allowed negative circumstances in life to shape your thinking  into a flawed and warped view of yourself. Being powerful means you take charge of changing that view into a better outlook for yourself.
When you are truly powerful you thrive, because you give and receive equally. Your soul is free from any desire to compare yourself to others. You have more time and energy for things that are productive. You free up space for inner development and growth, and you don’t give way to stagnation for too long or at all. You continually work on facing past and current pains and challenges, as well as work on healing them to free your spirit. You have energy to learn new things, and room to welcome success, peace and positive, life-changing events into your life.

Progress is Made Through Mistakes

When making a change to old habits and attitudes we sometimes make the mistake of thinking that this change should happen as soon as possible. We don’t give ourselves room for mistake.  This undermines our own ability to make the changes we seek. We become the tough and even judgmental voices that we heard growing up, and we may lose motivation.

Think back to when you were a small child. How would you have preferred to be treated when making mistakes? Even if you didn’t receive the best treatment from the adults around you, if you could go back and interact with your child self, how would you treat them when making those mistakes? How would you want to treat your own children to the best of your ability? You would be nurturing and kind. You would be encouraging and not beat down their self confidence. When messing up, you’d tell them to try again and to keep trying because something is always learned with each mistake. You’d let them know that mistakes are not bad and they part of growing and learning.

Effort always gets the momentum going. You’ve began the process and as you continue, you’re already changing. Do not stop the process by undermining what you’ve already accomplished because of a few setbacks. Disappointment is natural. We want the best for ourselves but we may not be realistic about the time it takes. Allow room for mistake, but don’t stop and settle into old ways because you may not see anything happening yet. See yourself as the small child you were, be encouraging and patient. Address yourself positively and you’ll see results over time.