Empowered Women v.s. Parasitic Women

When you are a woman who owns herself, are balanced in your approach and has boundaries, you may encounter at least one woman in your life who soon after your first meeting will make it a challenge to try to possess you like you’re their shiny new toy.  They begin with a shower of constant compliments and love bombing.  Over time those compliments begin to turn backhanded. After a while they may begin to throw subliminal insults online or disguise them as jokes to your face,  followed by the per usual “just kidding”. When your boundaries stay sturdy as a result of noting and observing their behavior, they begin to feel frustrated since their shower of compliments and the pretense of “being friendly” didn’t really move you as they had hoped. You have a good sense of picking up on manipulation.  Although you pick up on this,  you keep your demeanor balanced. When you remove yourself from the situation. Their frustration becomes more evident as they try to obsessively maintain contact and bombard you with questions asking “are you mad” or invasive questions like “where have you been”.

Eventually some employ more aggressive tactics to continue a connection with you. They may become confused and frustrated by your not allowing them to manipulate your moods and reactions so they will need to create conflict by doing things to try to get you out of character and trigger you. Chaos and conflict is another soothing method for women like these, #1 because they want an opportunity to cry victim once you waste energy defending yourself, and label you the offender. #2 they want to draw energy out of you and feel satisfaction reducing you to their level. When continuing to keep your distance they’ll at the least resent you for it and simply move on,  but at most they may say you’re stuck up or think you’re better than others as a way to evade accountability. At worst they may concoct and spread rumors about you. 

Some of these women will be all around rude to you  because they are triggered by your self-reliance. Despite their rudeness they expect openness from you and will endlessly wait for you to extend olive branches so they can purposely reject you. Their rudeness is simply a cry for your attention and your reaction would be a doorway for them to attempt to disempower you. If you don’t remain open, and go on about your business or are the type to swiftly not give energy to this type of behavior, they will resort to the gossip and slander mentioned above. They’ll say you’re the one that’s difficult, stuck up, rude and closed off. Basically an attempt at projecting who they are on you. 

To some all of this up, this is the female narcissist. They’ll try to remove you from your own position of self-ownership and confidence, but to no avail. If they grow in the least bit they’ll realize that’s impossible to do because that self ownership and confidence comes from within and from a place that is intangible. A place they can never reach. Some may say, why not give them a taste of their own medicine? In my many years of learning about interpersonal relationships through my own experiences I’ve concluded that these types of personalities want to manipulate your reactions. They want you to be just like them. That’s their goal. These are people that enjoy chaos and want to pull you into theirs. People do not realize they’re being ripped off and give away their power easily by reacting to these people. 

The whole narrative of this type of girl is “I see this powerful woman that owns herself. I want her to validate me and approve of me so that I can feel better about myself and by reducing her with my dysfunction I can feel for once that I’m better than her and women like her. I don’t believe in balance and I am addicted to power struggle so instead of operating on an equal level to her and realizing that I am just as worthy as her, I will continue to refuse to do the work and would rather take the easy way out by reducing her to the best of my ability. Reducing her to the level I believe I’m in. I want to make her worship me because her power reminds me that I am not powerful enough and I envy that.  I want to make her pay for my shortcomings and punish her for doing the self healing and self loving internal work that I refuse to do for myself out of laziness and fear of confronting myself.”

Get this: Women who radiate a quiet confidence and  a neutral disposition while being self-reliant and self-loving got there because they FACED THEIR DARKEST SHADOWS. THEY DID THE WORK! Attacking them or trying to riddle their lives with drama will never get you to their level or higher. That will only bring you down even further. If you want to reach that level you must take accountability of your dysfunctional drama-addicted behavior. These women you’re targeting did hard work and faced, accepted, healed and continue a life long healing journey through recognizing the worst part of themselves and therefore recognizing the inner goddess. They don’t operate from a place of lack nor spend time trying to “take” someone else’s power because they know they have their own. They’re too busy filling their own cups and nurturing themselves as should you. Going into your shadow and becoming self-aware is the key to liberation. 

For those who are on the verge of awakening: Parasitic behavior keeps you going in circles. Being courageous and facing yourself takes you places and gives you access to the best version of you. Being courageous and accountable leads to living your best life spiritually and mentally, fueling many miracles into physical manifestation. The only way to advance is to take accountability of your own bs!

Being Empowered

When you have the power your soul almost bursts with a scorching yet silent will. You can stand on your own two feet, feel abundant and whole within yourself, marking your space in this existence. You are not arrogant yet you easily attract respect and when attracting this respect you also respect and acknowledge other people, their will, and beliefs and rights to confidence and empowerment. You respect the space they take up in this world as well and operate on an even keel with them. You possess the confidence and calm to face most troubles in life.You have a gentle type of strength yet you can be loving, kind and lighthearted. When in that same space, your energy and a few assertive words indicate strongly that you aren’t with mind games and bullshit.

When you are self-empowered times may arrive when you may be tried and challenged. Being this way means there may be people who will try to take that thing that is so innately built and intertwined with you, away. They will feel like your presence alone takes away from their flawed sense of authority. Flawed sense of authority, as in false superiority above others. Exuding aggression and force as their one and only source of power. A short-lived power that only serves to chip-away at, exhaust and not replenish others spirit. That only serves to keep them on the road to more unnecessary battles and enemies.

This type of person likes to test their subjects to make them fall from grace. Any showing of inner strength combined with peaceful coexistence with others and a self assured nature will disturb a person who is not yet aligned with being at peace with who they are. Their need to prove that they are strong and above others through actions like fighting, bullying, and passive-aggression, is sign of desperation to be seen as someone more important than what they really are, and to be seen as someone in control, with more authority than others when they aren’t. They see a person who is comfortable in their skin and in their being and it rattles that person who does not yet know how to be comfortable within.

In some cases those who operate this way may secretly love the way you carry yourself and the way you vibe but their need for conflict, competition and comparison, because of a lack of self love and awareness, will lead them to simultaneously feel contempt towards you. They may feel out of control and not know how to act towards you, may act extremely fickle, acting friendly one minute and throwing below-the-belt jabs the next. Almost resembling how narcissists and sociopaths behave because of their chronic and deeply rooted envy. In many cases, even in experiences I have had myself, the subject turned out to be a sociopath.

Being in your power means you consciously begin to or have done the work that many people avoid and that is diving deep into the depths of your internal problems. Addressing to yourself why it is that you have a certain insecurity or a certain disappointment in yourself, low self worth, and resentment. Being brave enough to dig into your past in order to find the root of the problems you have today. Those things are hard to face for everyone. The thing is that to gain power you have to move through those emotions and old wounds in order to process them. From there you move into the realization that in reality you are worth so much and simply allowed negative circumstances in life to shape your thinking  into a flawed and warped view of yourself. Being powerful means you take charge of changing that view into a better outlook for yourself.
When you are truly powerful you thrive, because you give and receive equally. Your soul is free from any desire to compare yourself to others. You have more time and energy for things that are productive. You free up space for inner development and growth, and you don’t give way to stagnation for too long or at all. You continually work on facing past and current pains and challenges, as well as work on healing them to free your spirit. You have energy to learn new things, and room to welcome success, peace and positive, life-changing events into your life.

The Wise Giver

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Being loving, giving, of service to others or being a person who is naturally inclined to do for others, sharing talents with others, spreading positive vibes as much as possible, etc. is not to be confused with some being weak. It can turn into a weakness only when you are not in balance and you don’t take care of yourself first. When your giving is not based on the pure desire to give, it can become problematic. Giving based on feelings of guilt, wanting acceptance, feeling like you owe something, or giving only to receive is, of course, not coming from a genuine space.

Your compassion is not going full circle if you are giving before taking care of yourself first. We are like cups that need to be at least somewhat full in order to give some of our contents to others. Being on a path of giving the world what you have to offer is beautiful as long as it is done because you deeply desire to. A wise person who truly has the desire to share their gifts and themselves with the world, are able to do so because they have already given themselves the TLC that they needed.

Sometimes those who are not yet ready to be on that kind of path or just don’t desire it, feel like giving is a burden. Like something is being taken from them. When they criticize you, they are projecting how badly they would feel if they were to give just as much, not realizing that when you actually give yourself that TLC, you are a cup that forever refills. You are wise enough to repose, and also have the power to say ‘No’ or put someone in their place when necessary. You’re not a doormat or whatever else they assume based on your kindness. Most people think in black and white terms. The wise giver is someone who makes sure there is a balance.

Social Media Illusion

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Social media is a double edged sword. You can learn so much from it, connect with different people in positive ways but also be fooled and confused into delusions by it. We tend to focus so much on what we see externally and on the over-importance of others, as we minimize our own efforts and successes. Extroversion and boastfulness do not equate to confidence or success. Introversion and silence do not equate to low self-worth or failure. The internet and social media can be a house of mirrors that can fool many into believing that what’s most physically evident is what’s true or what has more worth than internal successes and intangible qualities about ourselves.

If you were able to take a picture of your soul, would you post that picture on social media? Before being upset or feeling down about your so called failures and inability to “prove” anything to the world, remember that there is much more worth in the intangible progress you make, than in the physical things you can “showcase”. Anyone with a pulse can post something and make it look beautiful on Instagram and Facebook. They can throw filters, they can arrange themselves a certain way or they can legitimately have beautiful things and a perfectly glamorous home or outfit, but inside of them can exist a whole different world opposite of all that outer beauty.

Some people use these outer complishments as crutches to help them feel a sense of superiority over others. Some people see these things and automatically feel belittled because unfortunately, the world convinces you that if you do not show any physical, tangible success, that you are a failure. What most people who fall into this littleness forget to think about is the fact that anyone who has to showcase anything to make others feel less than, deep down, feels like a little person themselves. Everyone acts out their sense of inferiority differently and some will do by posting excessive selfies and pictures showcasing what they have, in an attempt to gain many likes or to prove themselves to others. Take into account also, that many people who focus so much on the material and on showing what they have, are not doing the proper healing or dealing with their own insecurity. They will leave inner work unnoticed and their inner child unattended, for the sake of fulfilling their desperate need for likes and recognition.

I have seen people who have the most beautiful souls and enriching lives, who do for others and are developing themselves beautifully inside and out. Owning their flaws and on the path to self-love. They do not go out of their way to flaunt because they are already fulfilled. I myself am on this path to self love and healing and it is an extremely valuable path. Well worth it, full of it’s ups and downs of course. We are not the most glamorous of people because that’s not the path that we have, we are here for a larger purpose. I can see why people who do spiritual work can feel so out of place. Society seems to value physicality and riches above anything. But know that physicality and riches is not the ultimate truth, specially when it is being used as a replacement to, or a distraction from spiritual growth and healing.

Enjoy your journey and your life. Be thankful for the things you have such as family, home, food, nature surrounding you, and the many beautiful and sometimes small things you can think of. Putting yourself above others is not conducive to blessings. Being thankful for what you already have, is. It is a beautiful balance when you can have beautiful things and a peaceful soul. My writing of this article is not proclaiming that it is a bad thing to have physical things and to enjoy them. What I am trying to help people understand is that it is not conducive to well being when you allow physical gratification, the desperate need for riches, or the desperate need to showcase things for likes, to overtake your life and distract you from your much more important and bigger spiritual advancement.