The Wise Giver

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Being loving, giving, of service to others or being a person who is naturally inclined to do for others, sharing talents with others, spreading positive vibes as much as possible, etc. is not to be confused with some being weak. It can turn into a weakness only when you are not in balance and you don’t take care of yourself first. When your giving is not based on the pure desire to give, it can become problematic. Giving based on feelings of guilt, wanting acceptance, feeling like you owe something, or giving only to receive is, of course, not coming from a genuine space.

Your compassion is not going full circle if you are giving before taking care of yourself first. We are like cups that need to be at least somewhat full in order to give some of our contents to others. Being on a path of giving the world what you have to offer is beautiful as long as it is done because you deeply desire to. A wise person who truly has the desire to share their gifts and themselves with the world, are able to do so because they have already given themselves the TLC that they needed.

Sometimes those who are not yet ready to be on that kind of path or just don’t desire it, feel like giving is a burden. Like something is being taken from them. When they criticize you, they are projecting how badly they would feel if they were to give just as much, not realizing that when you actually give yourself that TLC, you are a cup that forever refills. You are wise enough to repose, and also have the power to say ‘No’ or put someone in their place when necessary. You’re not a doormat or whatever else they assume based on your kindness. Most people think in black and white terms. The wise giver is someone who makes sure there is a balance.

Social Media Illusion

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Social media is a double edged sword. You can learn so much from it, connect with different people in positive ways but also be fooled and confused into delusions by it. We tend to focus so much on what we see externally and on the over-importance of others, as we minimize our own efforts and successes. Extroversion and boastfulness do not equate to confidence or success. Introversion and silence do not equate to low self-worth or failure. The internet and social media can be a house of mirrors that can fool many into believing that what’s most physically evident is what’s true or what has more worth than internal successes and intangible qualities about ourselves.

If you were able to take a picture of your soul, would you post that picture on social media? Before being upset or feeling down about your so called failures and inability to “prove” anything to the world, remember that there is much more worth in the intangible progress you make, than in the physical things you can “showcase”. Anyone with a pulse can post something and make it look beautiful on Instagram and Facebook. They can throw filters, they can arrange themselves a certain way or they can legitimately have beautiful things and a perfectly glamorous home or outfit, but inside of them can exist a whole different world opposite of all that outer beauty.

Some people use these outer complishments as crutches to help them feel a sense of superiority over others. Some people see these things and automatically feel belittled because unfortunately, the world convinces you that if you do not show any physical, tangible success, that you are a failure. What most people who fall into this littleness forget to think about is the fact that anyone who has to showcase anything to make others feel less than, deep down, feels like a little person themselves. Everyone acts out their sense of inferiority differently and some will do by posting excessive selfies and pictures showcasing what they have, in an attempt to gain many likes or to prove themselves to others. Take into account also, that many people who focus so much on the material and on showing what they have, are not doing the proper healing or dealing with their own insecurity. They will leave inner work unnoticed and their inner child unattended, for the sake of fulfilling their desperate need for likes and recognition.

I have seen people who have the most beautiful souls and enriching lives, who do for others and are developing themselves beautifully inside and out. Owning their flaws and on the path to self-love. They do not go out of their way to flaunt because they are already fulfilled. I myself am on this path to self love and healing and it is an extremely valuable path. Well worth it, full of it’s ups and downs of course. We are not the most glamorous of people because that’s not the path that we have, we are here for a larger purpose. I can see why people who do spiritual work can feel so out of place. Society seems to value physicality and riches above anything. But know that physicality and riches is not the ultimate truth, specially when it is being used as a replacement to, or a distraction from spiritual growth and healing.

Enjoy your journey and your life. Be thankful for the things you have such as family, home, food, nature surrounding you, and the many beautiful and sometimes small things you can think of. Putting yourself above others is not conducive to blessings. Being thankful for what you already have, is. It is a beautiful balance when you can have beautiful things and a peaceful soul. My writing of this article is not proclaiming that it is a bad thing to have physical things and to enjoy them. What I am trying to help people understand is that it is not conducive to well being when you allow physical gratification, the desperate need for riches, or the desperate need to showcase things for likes, to overtake your life and distract you from your much more important and bigger spiritual advancement.

Excerpt From A Great Book On Abundance

I’ve been reading a book I stumbled upon recently called “The Little Book Of Infinite Abundance” by Naisha Ahsian, and I wanted to share an excerpt from the book. It is a concept that I have been practicing for quite some time now, without really knowing it was a solid idea or practice that had been documented as detailed as she described it:

“The emotional energy you use to manifest your creation is the content of that creation. When you create from fear, desperation or separation, the form you manifest will be filled with this energy – it will not fulfill you. In fact, it will continually remind you of fear, desperation and separation. When you create with the frequency of love, joy and abundance- no matter what they look like on the outside. Your creations will be truly “full-filling” and will be constant reminders of your love, joy and abundance.”

When you try to manifest something, what emotional energy do you place behind it? When you have the intention of gaining, creating or buying something, are you doing it to “impress”? Or simply for the joy of having it? Doing something for the purpose of impressing, being liked and accepted, or to so called “sh*t on the next person” as some people would say out of competitiveness, is rooted in feelings of fear and lack or scarcity mentality. It only results in feeling empty once again and wanting more and more, leading to never being fulfilled. This is not abundance. Abundance is when you do things out of pure passion or joy. You gain, create, or purchase something just because you like it, not out of desperation or to impress or one-up anyone. Abundance leads you to more creation and to infusing your job or tasks with a joyful energy. It is not always easy but this is why you consciously have to make the decision to align with that energy, every time you feel you are unmotivated or doing things for the wrong reasons. Abundance is a feeling. An energy bestowed to all of us from the divine energy/source of creation. Abundance is in sharing with others out of pure generosity, leading us to receive abundance in different forms. Sharing your time, money, or anything small. Even sharing a snack with a friend out of wanting to share how good it tastes. Those little things create more access to the energy of abundance itself.

I started my spiritual journey about 5 years ago. My experience with the concept talked about in the excerpt from Naisha Ahsian’s book, started to come up in my life about 3 years ago. I knew I was lining up with a more positive outlook and with my purpose through meditation on mindfulness. I also started to notice another kind of change that I couldn’t quite pin-point or label. I started to notice that my desire for certain material things diminished because I had found fulfillment elsewhere. In the past I would splurge on outfits and other things but that did not satisfy me. The thought of going back to the feeling of dissatisfaction buy after buy after buy, makes me more motivated to complete the abundance program Naisha Ahsian has set up in her book, even though for a long time now I no longer feel the need to splurge on things. When I do decide to get something, it is for the simple reason that it gives me joy to have it. Not to fill a void, or to impress people.

Naisha mentions in her book, that money does not equate to abundance as we have forever thought. She explains that there are many millionaires and people in general who do have money but they do not have abundance. Say what?? This kills the old belief that money equates to abundance and she is right. There are financially wealthy people who are unhappy and very greedy. They only want more, and they will climb over anyone or anything to get it. That right there is operating from scarcity mentality. You believe that what you get is limited, so you behave negatively to get it or once you get it because you think it will be taken away. You have to outrank and compete against someone else.  When you finally flow from abundance, which again is not one particular thing, it is an energy that includes joy, you no longer suffer the stress and desperation of wanting certain things, if you have been “struggling” or you no longer suffer from greed, and wanting to be bigger and better than anyone else. You relax knowing that you are taken care of while working to stay in the flow. You do your work with a positive attitude, without thinking so much about the money. This is when you start to draw in opportunities.

I stumbled upon this book and it was no accident. I think it is a blessing and to anyone who wants to expand, this is the link to it: The Little Book Of Infinite Abundance. Blessings to everyone.

Namaste

The High Road

For an egocentric person, you “walking away” will be seen as weakness. But many of us know that people who are addicted to power struggles are very unhappy and that same love for power struggles and quarrel in itself is a weakness. It is a result of some deep seated grief that they want to re-play over and over. Walking away from pointless struggle, specially if it means to never see the person again is the best gift you can give to yourself and to that person as well. They are already wounded enough as it is, if they are striving so hard to knock you off balance.

There are times when it can be hard to detach. It will be tempting to continue arguing and competing with this person. The way I have dealt with it is to ponder: “what lesson and I supposed to be learning here?”. I am a believer in past lives and the concept that we incarnate with people of previous lives who we have had unresolved issues with. This may be why within some relationships, there will be either an instant attraction, or aversion towards the person. There will be people that for absolutely no reason will give you hell. They may not even know why they dislike you so much or why they are so drawn to you. There will be relationships in which you will have a constant battle of wills, unfounded competition over the most trivial things and power struggle.

The way I have recently learned to and began to deal with this, is to first of all resist all impulses to follow suit. Do not continue the cycle of needless competition or arguing. Detach from it completely. Even if it means to be seen as the “loser” in the eyes of that person or anyone else. In reality that person will feel like they have truly lost something because they have nothing else to go on. You are starving their need for drama, and your attention. Try to view that person as a child who has not healed from past trauma. That is most likely the truth anyway.

If this is a person you have to see every single day or often, you may have to have a talk with them. This is the part that I am preparing myself for, in case my issue is with someone who I have no choice to constantly be around (coworker). At my age (28) I just now starting to get over my conflict-phobia. I needed to achieve the balanced force (Assertiveness) before continuing. The way I handled things in the past was either in a very passive manner, or a very aggressive one. Although I had conflict-phobia, I sometimes did act aggressively in an attempt to appear strong. Aggressive is a cover-up for weakness and neither passive behavior nor aggressive behavior are effective.  I just recently read a book by Doreen Virtue titled “Assertiveness For Earth Angels” that brought more to light for me. Speaking in a very calm, yet straight forward and serious tone, using eye contact, and having no anger in your voice, is part of being Assertive. Speaking to the person about how their behavior makes you feel without sugar-coating. Voicing your concern in a direct yet loving manner is for the interests of yourself as well as the other person. It may either lead to that person awakening and realizing certain things about their behavior, or it may aggravate them.

That leads me to the last step. If the person gets upset and you receive backlash even though you were respectful, the best thing to do now is to no longer have any contact with them. Even in the workplace, it may get awkward, but the best thing is to create distance with the person. Speaking about the issue will not always help but at least the way you feel has been made clear. In some cases the person may try to push you to engage in their drama. This is where taking the high road continues. If things become abusive, appropriate action will be necessary, in the case that it is a co-worker, of course going to a higher authority will have to be done. In the case of family, distance may be needed and if it comes to a friend/former friend, you may have to follow the high road, be assertive and if in the end they still behave the same, it’s time to cut the cord. No more phone calls, no more texts.

You are the only one who can take full care of YOU. Caring about your well-being equates to eliminating what doesn’t serve you. Those things, people and habits that deplete your life force and bring you down. Some people may argue that it is not loving to cut people off but I disagree. It can be the best thing that you can do for yourself as well as the person.