Letting Others Accept Themselves

People should be allowed to increase their self-acceptance and self-love while they are a work in progress. Fighting against that simply shows a in lack of self-focus. Why would the self-acceptance of another regardless of what is going on with their body, bother you? Because you are escaping from your own issues.

You know, those silly internet doctors who claim “concern” over the health of  people who are heavier. They have such self righteous attitudes, a false sense of superiority and display covert/overt bullying. Yet don’t inflict the same vitriol towards those who are drug addicts, skinny people who overeat, heavy smokers or those who are self-destructive in other ways. Anyone can tell that these people do not truly care to see a person change for the better, they simply want to feel “better than” the person by going on health tirades. They are simply full of hatred.

Most overweight people I’ve come across are advocating to be treated fairly. That is the reason behind “body positivity”. They are not ‘less than’ for being overweight. They’re not trying to force and convince you to want them with their body positivity posts, or even like them as romantic partners. But they do want to assert to the world that they are just as much worthy of positive treatment, a relationship, and self-love as anyone who isn’t overweight. They don’t deserve to be marginalized because of it.

People like to deflect a lot on this topic by saying that overweight people are forcing others to like them. No, it’s simply about fair treatment. It’s crazy to me how many people turn into doctors and medical experts just to have an excuse to berate, mistreat and feel better than overweight people. Some of these types are still under the heavy brainwashing of the media, manipulated only to accept images that are to society’s and media standards. They have been duped into being irrationally and almost psychotically angry at those who don’t fit that standard. The problem is not the person who “needs to exercise”, the problem is the internet doctor’s narcissistic bullshit. The problem is the condescending attitudes of the people who are simply too unhappy with themselves to be ok with the happiness of others.

As a person who isn’t overweight, I don’t feel the need to berate a person who is, because I don’t need to use others to uplift myself. There’s no need to place someone else below you in order to feel good if you are at least somewhat content with yourself. There’s no excuse to speak to people in a derogatory manner and resort to insults because someone is simply asking to be treated fairly. It sounds like there are some underlying issues within the offenders themselves and they use certain situations in order to direct their vitriol, the same vitriol they feel towards themselves. it’s irrational and shows that there are shortcomings and self-loathing the offenders are running from.

There are ways to effectively encourage people to lose weight and mistreating them is not one of them. This is more of a tactic of putting them “in their place” as if they are less than. The culprits are trying to make them feel bad about themselves. Striving to rob them of any good feelings and acceptance they have towards their current selves. “how dare they like themselves?”. every decent person deserves to like themselves regardless of their current state of health/outer looks. People with true healthy confidence and those who love themselves or on the journey there are the ones who actually want to see others improve..they do not use anger, superiority complexes, self rightness or abuse as tactics towards so called “helping” others make changes. Those are tactics that abusers employ when they do not want to see you improve. They want you to “know your place” and feel discouraged.


Everyone who is a work in progress has a right to feel happy in the moment if their spirit calls for it. They should feel joy while they are a work in progress because it brings even more positive changes into one’s life. Joy propels them towards those changes. Being happy and present in the moment doesn’t mean you’re settling. Only those with a rigid mindset, who do not allow themselves happiness due to some deep inner guilt they harbor, think this way. They are the ones who become angry towards another who doesn’t fit societal standards yet dares to feel joy. Because they feel that person  should not radiate more joy than they do.

The attitudes of the people who berate others , remind me of those situations when people who have been unpopular or mistreated for a very long time,  finally decide to love themselves.  Bullies and those who were comfortable with the lack of self love of that individual, come out of the woodwork and decide to label them arrogant in an attempt to gaslight them into dimming their light, and put them in that lower “place” which the offender feels that person belongs. It is an attempt at stopping the person who they deem “unworthy of feeling good about themselves” from feeling a higher sense of self worth than the offenders themselves.

Society is collectively sadistic. Many people don’t want those who have been unjustly treated or made fun of, or those who don’t fit standards, to have any bit of shine. It seems to threaten everyone else’s false sense of security. I would love to see people who are overweight, achieve their body goals or get to a healthy weight and state of being, for the right reasons. I don’t need to be nasty towards them to express this and I don’t need to give them unsolicited advice. To me health is the most important v.s societal standards. If being big didn’t cause health problems then I wouldn’t have any concern at all or be preoccupied with their weight.

For some people, losing weight is extremely challenging. Weather it’s a thyroid issue, deeply rooted emotional issues causing over-eating, which is not easy to overcome or what have you. Some give up, because again it’s tough. Everyone has their own cross to carry in life. Even for those who just won’t lose weight because they don’t feel like it, that is their life choice that can totally have consequences health-wise but what is to be gained by being hostile towards them? An egotistical false sense of temporary satisfaction? Why try to control so much, what other people choose to do with their life and health? Throwing insults or going on “high and mighty” health tirades, does not show true concern. It shows that you aren’t even in control of your own life, you more than likely beat yourself up constantly at night while acting like your shit doesn’t stink during the day and your self worth is more than likely not coming from a genuine place.

You Were Made To Win

victorious

Hardship was never meant to deter you. Temporarily? Maybe! But not permanently to where you remain in a defeated state for too long. This is not what you were made for. Going through periods of suffering and pain does not mean you deserve to remain in that state. Challenges were made for you to rise and overcome them, to make you flexible, unbreakable. Sometimes going through difficulty will have many falling into the mental trap that this is maybe something they deserve. Never believe it. It is an ego trap design to make you stray away from your potential. Keep pushing!

What Should Self-Worth Be Based On?

This is simply my opinion. It doesn’t have to resonate with everyone. It’s not a “should” or “you must” kind of thing. This is just based on my own experience. This is for those who may be upset and disappointed because they don’t feel that the superficial side of life is not going anywhere for them. To the ones that are looking for something other than looks and social status to carry them and to build their foundation on. Big things can be achieved through qualities and accomplishments that are not superficial. A lot of the time building up these things is what leads you to becoming a success in the worldly side, just as long as you never forget where you come from and who you truly are.

Build your self-worth based on something of value such as personal achievements, that may not have to do with financial earnings. What can you do for others from the heart? what improvements have you made to your inner self? Think of the harmony and positive change you create around you through conscious efforts and any hard work you’ve put into your life. Not only outer improvements like career etc. but inner improvements to your character and inner well being. Working through your old unresolved issues, and working to rid yourself of old beliefs are other, most often ignored form of success. Building yourself up sturdy from the inside is what builds a positive reality. Looks fade and hard times show up in everyone’s lives. Remember what you’ve been through, and your strength. Think of the times you never gave up your will-power and pushed through to the end of something.

I am an attractive person in my opinion but I have never relied on it. I’m doing OK financially but those things are not a representation of who I am. Mom taught me well that it’s all about what you carry inside.  I have had my days where I felt both those areas of my life were not doing well and it made me upset because I wasn’t focusing on what is truly important. Building your esteem on more meaningful things is what makes you still feel awesome and proud even if you’re on house-mom mode, in your pajamas, with your hair looking like the snakes on Medusa’s head. Even when you’re not doing so great financially. Things always change and you know you’re doing the best that you can.

Building yourself through doing something of value makes you become less concerned with how others will view you and more focused on your own positive view of yourself. Never abandon yourself physically but don’t focus on looks and materials so much that it blinds you from everything else that is truly important or that it makes you think you are above anyone, because that is when you fall, and you fall pretty hard indeed. Those things are not the real you. It’s surprising how little you will care for the physical because your sense of self has been built on something greater and permanent. Everyone has something meaningful to contribute to this world.

 

 

Trusting The Universe: My Experience In Letting Go Of Ideal Outcomes

Up until a few years ago, I lived my life in high stress. I couldn’t relax very much and didn’t really know what true inner peace really was because I was conditioned, like most of the population, to believe that you have to constantly scurry around in order to achieve anything. That you have to be constantly busy in order to feel worthy of any success, and that operating in that way will guarantee success. I felt ostracized by the voices I had internalized during childhood. Being scolded for taking a quick break or for claiming to be tired. We have been taught to be totally disconnected to the flow that truly rules our lives and that’s where trouble comes in. We are being asked to go against the flow, and our own bodies’ internal clock. Everything in the universe is in sync with one another and things seem to happen at the time that they need to. There is a natural pattern that our bodies are trying to flow with, yet we fight ourselves and work against time because this is what has been always considered normal and what has been ingrained  in our heads.

In my experience, the more I fought to achieve a specific outcome, the more elusive it became. I found that once I began to trust in divine timing, and in the natural flow of things, I saw that different and unexpected opportunities would arise. Sometimes even the arrival of more beneficial outcomes than imagined. Expectation leads to disappointment in most cases, and the “letting go” process requires detachment from desired outcomes. This does not mean that I am putting my dreams, goals and aspirations in the back burner. Actually, I have already set the intention that those dreams, goals and aspirations are what I want to get to, but I don’t attach myself to them so much that I end up in a constant state of wondering about if it will happen or not. I just continue doing the work required to get to them, at my own pace. Or shall I say, at an enjoyable pace. When you have that passion and love for your work, the universe opens more doors for you. When you are not enjoying yourself in what you do, most of the time, it does not get you anywhere or the desired results. When you are relentlessly working yourself past the point of exhaustion, rushing yourself, being a perfectionist, and being harsh towards yourself when it comes to reaching these goals, wondering constantly about when things will happen for you, and/or working to be better than someone else, you are operating from a fear-based standpoint. You are not attracting the positive energy that will propel you towards your goal.

 

The motivation behind many people, for doing great in life, seems to be centered on beating the next person. I am not dismissing that there are other, more meaningful motives for success, such as the caring of the family or assuring the security of their children’s futures, the enjoyment of luxuries, travel etc. Of course there are.  I’m referring to how nowadays many individuals are driven by how the next person is doing in comparison to themselves. They want to do better than the next person, not remembering that everyone has their own path and journey. The next person’s success is totally different than the success that is meant for your own life’s path. Focusing on what another person is doing, is taking the focus off yourself. The true focus needed to monitor your own progress and to truly enjoy your work. You are robbing yourself of your own creativity because your energy is now being partially or fully focused on being better than someone else.

The relaxation and trust in the universal flow is  pretty much a form of meditation. The art of letting go and allowing.  In most cases, after worrying and stressing about job searching, bills, or many other things that we stress about in our everyday lives, you find that everything eventually works out. All the fear-based outcomes you envisioned were only unfounded and imaginary. I have had many points in my life where there was plenty of financial struggle. Each and every time I would go through these kinds of situations, I complained a lot and did not see a light at the end of the tunnel. Then as I got a bit older and got the chance to see more of my life unfolding, I started noticing that each and every difficult situation in my life, that I thought I would not get out of, ended up having an outcome different from the one I would imagine. A positive one!  All of my fears were a complete waste of time and energy, when I could have been focusing on being in the moment and enjoying my life for what it was. After having this realization a few years ago I started to just let go and enjoy my life, the big and little things. I let go of those fears because I started to trust what I have seen time and time again. Even when things seem to be at their toughest, I have come to see that silver lining.

If you find yourself in a constant state of tension, always rushing, always thinking that you will not achieve your goals, feeling unworthy because you are not working at the same pace as others or because you haven’t achieved what another person has, being a perfectionist to the point of stress, not getting enough rest (I have heard the saying “Sleep is for suckers!” and the hash-tag all over the web: #teamnosleep …tisk! your body is your temple, take care of it! Get rest! You’re obviously going to need your body!)… If you find yourself constantly doing any of these things… STOP! If I began to tell you how amazing life is and how it works for you when you are not doing all of these things, this would be a much longer article. Please relax! There is abundance and success available to everyone. Someone else having success does not rob you of your own. Breathe and set the intention that you will achieve what you set out to do, and then continue on to do your work at your own desired pace. The rest will follow. Last but not least, Do not let society and the media tell you what defines success.  Success comes in many forms!