What Should Self-Worth Be Based On?

This is simply my opinion. It doesn’t have to resonate with everyone. It’s not a “should” or “you must” kind of thing. This is just based on my own experience. This is for those who may be upset and disappointed because they don’t feel that the superficial side of life is not going anywhere for them. To the ones that are looking for something other than looks and social status to carry them and to build their foundation on. Big things can be achieved through qualities and accomplishments that are not superficial. A lot of the time building up these things is what leads you to becoming a success in the worldly side, just as long as you never forget where you come from and who you truly are.

Build your self-worth based on something of value such as personal achievements, that may not have to do with financial earnings. What can you do for others from the heart? what improvements have you made to your inner self? Think of the harmony and positive change you create around you through conscious efforts and any hard work you’ve put into your life. Not only outer improvements like career etc. but inner improvements to your character and inner well being. Working through your old unresolved issues, and working to rid yourself of old beliefs are other, most often ignored form of success. Building yourself up sturdy from the inside is what builds a positive reality. Looks fade and hard times show up in everyone’s lives. Remember what you’ve been through, and your strength. Think of the times you never gave up your will-power and pushed through to the end of something.

I am an attractive person in my opinion but I have never relied on it. I’m doing OK financially but those things are not a representation of who I am. Mom taught me well that it’s all about what you carry inside.  I have had my days where I felt both those areas of my life were not doing well and it made me upset because I wasn’t focusing on what is truly important. Building your esteem on more meaningful things is what makes you still feel awesome and proud even if you’re on house-mom mode, in your pajamas, with your hair looking like the snakes on Medusa’s head. Even when you’re not doing so great financially. Things always change and you know you’re doing the best that you can.

Building yourself through doing something of value makes you become less concerned with how others will view you and more focused on your own positive view of yourself. Never abandon yourself physically but don’t focus on looks and materials so much that it blinds you from everything else that is truly important or that it makes you think you are above anyone, because that is when you fall, and you fall pretty hard indeed. Those things are not the real you. It’s surprising how little you will care for the physical because your sense of self has been built on something greater and permanent. Everyone has something meaningful to contribute to this world.

 

 

The Need To Appear Perfect

One thing I’ve been dealing with lately and seeing within certain relationships is that need to appear perfect to the other person. I have been able to relate awesomely with a number of people and in relating with them, there is this openness and freedom. We could talk about whatever flowed and even the dark part of our character, the details of angry spurts, pain that at one point may have been repressed even, and the times when we’ve been in shameful situations. As well as joyful times, dreams, and embarrassments. Now that I’m more open and have experienced this, I don’t like to go back to that nudging distrust that starts brewing when you feel someone is trying to appear too perfect. It’s feels uncomfortable and nothing seems genuine.

I know there is a point in the very beginning of getting to know a person where they may be just trying to make a good impression and that’s OK. With some individuals though, there is this continuous struggle to remain perfect. It’s very evident and just a complete turn off from trying to get to know the person or really dealing with the person at all.

One word: RELAX! We are all damaged in some way and EVERYBODY knows this. Trying to appear perfect creates distrust. The feeling that you are hiding something starts to creep up on the other person. Despite the fact that I’m a pretty open person, I myself tend to kind of shy away from people who try so hard. More and more people are starting to go by their intuition and gut feelings so trying to get to know someone who is trying to hide themselves in that way is like pulling teeth and creates awkwardness. They behave one way but there this subtle alarm telling you something different.

I know for many it can be difficult to just be yourself in a world that tries to force you to be dull or to submit to certain life style’s and ways. Even if you were to do that, you’d still get judged anyway. It sounds pretty dramatic (lol), but I mean, really.. You constantly hear people say they can’t f*ck with people who can’t keep it (excuse my ebonics) “One Hunnit” (100%/Real) etc *cackling*, yet the same folks will talk sh*t about you, and ridicule you for whatever reason. At one point you have to get sick and tired of pretending and hiding. My problem was always saying “Yes”, when I really wanted to say “No”. That’s a mask as well. Just as I was, pretending to be content when I was actually enraged on the inside. At one point you get to that “f*ck-it” threshold. You come to a completely clear realization that other people struggle with the same demons you do or worse. Or you even go beyond to look at it from an even higher stand-point: That we are all perfect in our ways, we all bring our own individual “something” to creation itself, we are all living a short journey on earth, of many journeys, that is about play. We have incarnated as different characters to experience ourSELF because we are ONE, in different forms, we are learning and we are the way we are supposed to be in this NOW moment.

Flaws are part of the game. Just relax and BE. Your true nature is beautified by flaws as well as mindless joy and fun. Think about how you were as a child..that is perfection right there, even with the tantrums, kicking and screaming and not really caring about who was watching or what anyone thought. It is the conditioning later on that made you become self-conscious and at one point if you decide to choose the path of freedom, you will start to unlearn this. I saw a posting on facebook that just had me like “wow”, because it is the mere truth. It said something along the lines of “Be yourself. When you are not yourself, you draw to your reality, people who are not in vibrational alignment with who you really are, so you will always feel like you never fit in. When you are yourself freely, you will eventually draw to yourself people who, like you, let shine their true nature, which is a match to your own.” Think about it, you’ll feel right at home. *smiles*