What Should Self-Worth Be Based On?

This is simply my opinion. It doesn’t have to resonate with everyone. It’s not a “should” or “you must” kind of thing. This is just based on my own experience. This is for those who may be upset and disappointed because they don’t feel that the superficial side of life is not going anywhere for them. To the ones that are looking for something other than looks and social status to carry them and to build their foundation on. Big things can be achieved through qualities and accomplishments that are not superficial. A lot of the time building up these things is what leads you to becoming a success in the worldly side, just as long as you never forget where you come from and who you truly are.

Build your self-worth based on something of value such as personal achievements, that may not have to do with financial earnings. What can you do for others from the heart? what improvements have you made to your inner self? Think of the harmony and positive change you create around you through conscious efforts and any hard work you’ve put into your life. Not only outer improvements like career etc. but inner improvements to your character and inner well being. Working through your old unresolved issues, and working to rid yourself of old beliefs are other, most often ignored form of success. Building yourself up sturdy from the inside is what builds a positive reality. Looks fade and hard times show up in everyone’s lives. Remember what you’ve been through, and your strength. Think of the times you never gave up your will-power and pushed through to the end of something.

I am an attractive person in my opinion but I have never relied on it. I’m doing OK financially but those things are not a representation of who I am. Mom taught me well that it’s all about what you carry inside.  I have had my days where I felt both those areas of my life were not doing well and it made me upset because I wasn’t focusing on what is truly important. Building your esteem on more meaningful things is what makes you still feel awesome and proud even if you’re on house-mom mode, in your pajamas, with your hair looking like the snakes on Medusa’s head. Even when you’re not doing so great financially. Things always change and you know you’re doing the best that you can.

Building yourself through doing something of value makes you become less concerned with how others will view you and more focused on your own positive view of yourself. Never abandon yourself physically but don’t focus on looks and materials so much that it blinds you from everything else that is truly important or that it makes you think you are above anyone, because that is when you fall, and you fall pretty hard indeed. Those things are not the real you. It’s surprising how little you will care for the physical because your sense of self has been built on something greater and permanent. Everyone has something meaningful to contribute to this world.

 

 

The Soul Connection: To Work With It Or To Let It Work You?

ImageIt’s not about the idea of having possession of another person and expecting them to belong only to you… and forever. This is what many people think of when they think of a soul mate or twin flame connection. The meaning has been skewed and flipped around to make it signify some kind of “forever and till death do us part” type of relationship, when in actuality it is far from that, and something I would better describe as a reality check.


Soul connections are about learning. They are not exclusive to romantic relationships, they also include family relationships, and friendships. They are showing you who you are, and who you can become. They show you your true potential. They bring up and bring out your weaknesses so you can spend the time necessary to face them and work to overcome them. Quite ANNOYING! Even though it is a necessary process. I think this is why people stay in their comfort zones. Most of us keep our walls up and we would rather not deal with our own demons nor the demons of another person. Soul mate and twin flame relationships can turn out very difficult and even sour at times. They are a test for people who still have certain types of issues to resolve within themselves. The only amazing part of it in my experience is the feeling of the connection itself and the true intimacy that can be achieved if both people come to an understanding and are mutually working with themselves and with each other.


Even if you are a very spiritual person that is practicing compassion and the process of ‘letting go’, these types of connections can really test your open-hearted nature. Whatever old fears you had stuffed will come about. You will most likely meet people who seem like your complete opposite. Sometimes they are showing you another side of life that you are being given the chance to explore. Sometimes the connection is teaching you acceptance of your counterpart’s lifestyle and that’s where unconditional love comes in. The true loving of another person without condition or expectation. Without expecting them to do for you in return. Just letting them be who they are. This is obviously pretty difficult for most of us. Many people feed into their ego’s selfish nature, so they start to become possessive, obsessive, intimidated and/or withdrawn. There are the folks who run from the connection because the strength of it cannot really be explained. Most people have to have a reason why they are drawn to a person, and the being drawn to someone for absolutely no explainable, tangible reason is so crazy to some people that they would rather get away.


I’m not trying to undermine these connections or trash talk them. They are absolutely necessary and perfect for spiritual growth. I admit that they get on my damn mother******* nerves at times because I have had a series of aggravating episodes when it comes to them lol. But just what I have stated right there is an exact indicator that I still have work to do..LOL. Despite the difficulties, they have shown and reminded me of the areas of my life and personality that I need to acknowledge. They have helped me build up strength to practice letting go of the unpleasant emotions associated with how I viewed myself. They have reminded me to remain open-hearted even in the face of what seemed like flat out ridicule, rejection and the discovery of my counterparts’ demons or qualities that differed from my own. I do sometimes in the midst of my own aggravation say that I’d rather remain a recluse rather than deal with these connections. But what good would I get out of that? I would not be able to learn, grow and experience other views on life.


Some of these connections can be completely amazing with little issues and those are just as important. From what I have seen, the more pleasant experiences in this realm of connections, will show you that you are beautiful regardless of what has happened and will happen in your life and they will remind you of the freedom that your soul’s true nature is comprised of. They will show you real intimacy and the freedom of completely being yourself, freely revealing dreams as well as fears. It’s not all bad.


The keys to dealing with these types of connections is patience, taking time to contemplate, providing your counterpart with lots of space when the signs are there that they want/need it, even if it feels like death to you (that would be your own insecurities and inability to let go). Working to love yourself more and paying full attention to yourself, your needs, dreams and nurturing your talents and creativity. Neglecting yourself will send a subconscious signal to others that will make them pull away. This is why people who chase after love and approval, seem to forever chase it without getting it. Self-love and self-focus allows us to receive the universe’s gifts when we least expect them.