Owning Yourself

When you stand in your own power you don’t fret about how someone with more money, status, “personality”, skills or more of anything, will upstage you. Standing in your own power means to have pride in yourself and what you are made of. Weather it is socially comparable as less than or more than another. In reality nothing is comparable. We all bring our own gifts to this world. I come across many people of all walks of life who are socially more successful in many areas that I may not be as successful in. I treat them with respect and acknowledge them as I would anyone else “less” or “more” successful, and it is easy for me to do that because I have overall, a healthy sense of self-respect and self-love, which I continue to work on as much as possible.

superheroes-vixen-e1385177939338-600x739

Vixen, Source: Google Images

Working on your own inner healing leads to self-appreciation. Taking a stand in not remaining stuck in certain emotions, acknowledging those emotions, and working through them, doing the spiritual work necessary and giving yourself TLC, keeps you clear of remaining stuck in insecurity. Insecurity is an emotion none of us can ever avoid but we can work through and heal from it as new stages of being and maturity come about. Acknowledging that you are insecure and working through those feelings is essential to moving forward. Regardless of outside circumstances, you will be able to network and mingle with others peacefully when you work to keep yourself in check and come to the understanding that you are a valuable person as others are. You will come to terms with the fact that everyone is different and special in their own way. No one can take your importance away from you and you can’t take the importance away from anyone. Being empowered means that the presence or existence of others and their talents, gifts, blessings and journeys will not drive you to want to destroy them or knock them off their focus in any way. You will be more inclined to focus on your progress.

Standing in your power can mean that you will keep pushing in the face of the opposition that tries to keep you distracted from the power you have within. A lot of the time that means to refrain from lowering yourself to the level of an aggressor. Simply not engaging at all.  Everyone is powerful, some people just don’t recognize that. Truly powerful people don’t feel the need to attack, be at war with or belittle anyone.

Broken Sisterhood

Despite so much adversity that goes on among us women, I feel spirit has always directed me towards healing myself and helping other women heal from the wounds that we have caused each other. Getting away from the excessive pride and ego that we use to protect our feelings and emotions.
There is a balance that I try to achieve when I face the difficult situations that have surfaced with other women. I myself have fallen many times in the traps of coming from ego in order to defend myself. I remained stuck in defense mode for long periods of time. I want to remain in the practice of simply being carefree and welcoming, which is my original nature, despite any push-back I receive. I am not at all, by any means, saying to be passive in the face of blatant disrespect. But I will not let any experiences that are negative, allow me to change my overall nature in new situations.
This is one of my goals, which I have achieved in the past but as of late, have fallen back into that habit of becoming closed and withdrawn when I have been “attacked”.

The older I have gotten and the more I have done the work to increase the love for myself, the more I face uncomfortable situations with women. I have gone within to find out why and part of my purpose seems to be that I have to work with women somehow,  by directly addressing the actions and issues at hand instead of just withdrawing and “taking the high road” or “keeping it moving” as I say.  I should be acting as more of a teacher in these situations.

I have most of the time avoided “worsening” situations by not bothering and moving on. Just letting it be whatever it is and leaving that person to “take the bs elsewhere”. This in itself can be very dysfunctional because that person may need, right then and there, for me to immediately tell them how fucked up they are behaving. My whole philosophy has always been “They are grown, they should know better.” which is true but sometimes people need to hear about themselves because others have not dared to speak up on their foolishness. Then again there are times when it is necessary to not bother with the situation altogether, specially if games are being played and it is a situation in which the other party shows signs of some personality disorder, such as NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). Those are situations you need to run from immediately, as the person’s only goal is to keep you depleted and feeling destroyed and that is another story for another day.

Another issue I have dealt with is where I let my guard down for certain people, while my intuition clearly told me otherwise and it resulted in the person, down the line, becoming rude towards me out of nowhere, almost to “test” me because they thought my normal positive attitude was phony or they just couldn’t stand the ongoing lack of drama. Some people are very addicted to adversity so they seek out this kind of trouble when it isn’t called for or necessary. Just to pass the time or because it fuels and excites them. This is where my intuition mixed with that same openness needed to come in. I was only open at the time and ignored my senses. People like this often move on when you finally distance yourself and send a clear message that you’re not with the bs.

What I want to do ultimately is to continue working on these issues, in order to move on from this negative feedback loop. I want to have a better outlook as I did before and see the best in everyone else. I do have, even presently some positive experiences but I want to leave behind the weary feelings and distrust that sometimes creep up on me, the fear of letting my guard down. I am working to achieve the balance I once had not long ago where I was using my intuition more proactively. The past few months I seemed to just withdraw from everything and that is not conducive to new opportunities or positive situations. I want to get to where I am able to fulfill this calling and work with other women in the process, helping to heal the divine feminine. In my quest towards life coaching this is a necessary step.

The Wise Giver

image

Being loving, giving, of service to others or being a person who is naturally inclined to do for others, sharing talents with others, spreading positive vibes as much as possible, etc. is not to be confused with some being weak. It can turn into a weakness only when you are not in balance and you don’t take care of yourself first. When your giving is not based on the pure desire to give, it can become problematic. Giving based on feelings of guilt, wanting acceptance, feeling like you owe something, or giving only to receive is, of course, not coming from a genuine space.

Your compassion is not going full circle if you are giving before taking care of yourself first. We are like cups that need to be at least somewhat full in order to give some of our contents to others. Being on a path of giving the world what you have to offer is beautiful as long as it is done because you deeply desire to. A wise person who truly has the desire to share their gifts and themselves with the world, are able to do so because they have already given themselves the TLC that they needed.

Sometimes those who are not yet ready to be on that kind of path or just don’t desire it, feel like giving is a burden. Like something is being taken from them. When they criticize you, they are projecting how badly they would feel if they were to give just as much, not realizing that when you actually give yourself that TLC, you are a cup that forever refills. You are wise enough to repose, and also have the power to say ‘No’ or put someone in their place when necessary. You’re not a doormat or whatever else they assume based on your kindness. Most people think in black and white terms. The wise giver is someone who makes sure there is a balance.