Letting Others Accept Themselves

People should be allowed to increase their self-acceptance and self-love while they are a work in progress. Fighting against that simply shows a in lack of self-focus. Why would the self-acceptance of another regardless of what is going on with their body, bother you? Because you are escaping from your own issues.

You know, those silly internet doctors who claim “concern” over the health of  people who are heavier. They have such self righteous attitudes, a false sense of superiority and display covert/overt bullying. Yet don’t inflict the same vitriol towards those who are drug addicts, skinny people who overeat, heavy smokers or those who are self-destructive in other ways. Anyone can tell that these people do not truly care to see a person change for the better, they simply want to feel “better than” the person by going on health tirades. They are simply full of hatred.

Most overweight people I’ve come across are advocating to be treated fairly. That is the reason behind “body positivity”. They are not ‘less than’ for being overweight. They’re not trying to force and convince you to want them with their body positivity posts, or even like them as romantic partners. But they do want to assert to the world that they are just as much worthy of positive treatment, a relationship, and self-love as anyone who isn’t overweight. They don’t deserve to be marginalized because of it.

People like to deflect a lot on this topic by saying that overweight people are forcing others to like them. No, it’s simply about fair treatment. It’s crazy to me how many people turn into doctors and medical experts just to have an excuse to berate, mistreat and feel better than overweight people. Some of these types are still under the heavy brainwashing of the media, manipulated only to accept images that are to society’s and media standards. They have been duped into being irrationally and almost psychotically angry at those who don’t fit that standard. The problem is not the person who “needs to exercise”, the problem is the internet doctor’s narcissistic bullshit. The problem is the condescending attitudes of the people who are simply too unhappy with themselves to be ok with the happiness of others.

As a person who isn’t overweight, I don’t feel the need to berate a person who is, because I don’t need to use others to uplift myself. There’s no need to place someone else below you in order to feel good if you are at least somewhat content with yourself. There’s no excuse to speak to people in a derogatory manner and resort to insults because someone is simply asking to be treated fairly. It sounds like there are some underlying issues within the offenders themselves and they use certain situations in order to direct their vitriol, the same vitriol they feel towards themselves. it’s irrational and shows that there are shortcomings and self-loathing the offenders are running from.

There are ways to effectively encourage people to lose weight and mistreating them is not one of them. This is more of a tactic of putting them “in their place” as if they are less than. The culprits are trying to make them feel bad about themselves. Striving to rob them of any good feelings and acceptance they have towards their current selves. “how dare they like themselves?”. every decent person deserves to like themselves regardless of their current state of health/outer looks. People with true healthy confidence and those who love themselves or on the journey there are the ones who actually want to see others improve..they do not use anger, superiority complexes, self rightness or abuse as tactics towards so called “helping” others make changes. Those are tactics that abusers employ when they do not want to see you improve. They want you to “know your place” and feel discouraged.

Everyone who is a work in progress has a right to feel happy in the moment if their spirit calls for it. They should feel joy while they are a work in progress because it brings even more positive changes into one’s life. Joy propels them towards those changes. Being happy and present in the moment doesn’t mean you’re settling. Only those with a rigid mindset, who do not allow themselves happiness due to some deep inner guilt they harbor, think this way. They are the ones who become angry towards another who doesn’t fit societal standards yet dares to feel joy. Because they feel that person  should not radiate more joy than they do.

The attitudes of the people who berate others , remind me of those situations when people who have been unpopular or mistreated for a very long time,  finally decide to love themselves.  Bullies and those who were comfortable with the lack of self love of that individual, come out of the woodwork and decide to label them arrogant in an attempt to gaslight them into dimming their light, and put them in that lower “place” which the offender feels that person belongs. It is an attempt at stopping the person who they deem “unworthy of feeling good about themselves” from feeling a higher sense of self worth than the offenders themselves.

Society is collectively sadistic. Many people don’t want those who have been unjustly treated or made fun of, or those who don’t fit standards, to have any bit of shine. It seems to threaten everyone else’s false sense of security. I would love to see people who are overweight, achieve their body goals or get to a healthy weight and state of being, for the right reasons. I don’t need to be nasty towards them to express this and I don’t need to give them unsolicited advice. To me health is the most important v.s societal standards. If being big didn’t cause health problems then I wouldn’t have any concern at all or be preoccupied with their weight.

For some people, losing weight is extremely challenging. Weather it’s a thyroid issue, deeply rooted emotional issues causing over-eating, which is not easy to overcome or what have you. Some give up, because again it’s tough. Everyone has their own cross to carry in life. Even for those who just won’t lose weight because they don’t feel like it, that is their life choice that can totally have consequences health-wise but what is to be gained by being hostile towards them? An egotistical false sense of temporary satisfaction? Why try to control so much, what other people choose to do with their life and health? Throwing insults or going on “high and mighty” health tirades, does not show true concern. It shows that you aren’t even in control of your own life, you more than likely beat yourself up constantly at night while acting like your shit doesn’t stink during the day and your self worth is more than likely not coming from a genuine place.

Being Empowered

When you have the power your soul almost bursts with a scorching yet silent will. You can stand on your own two feet, feel abundant and whole within yourself, marking your space in this existence. You are not arrogant yet you easily attract respect and when attracting this respect you also respect and acknowledge other people, their will, and beliefs and rights to confidence and empowerment. You respect the space they take up in this world as well and operate on an even keel with them. You possess the confidence and calm to face most troubles in life.You have a gentle type of strength yet you can be loving, kind and lighthearted. When in that same space, your energy and a few assertive words indicate strongly that you aren’t with mind games and bullshit.

When you are self-empowered times may arrive when you may be tried and challenged. Being this way means there may be people who will try to take that thing that is so innately built and intertwined with you, away. They will feel like your presence alone takes away from their flawed sense of authority. Flawed sense of authority, as in false superiority above others. Exuding aggression and force as their one and only source of power. A short-lived power that only serves to chip-away at, exhaust and not replenish others spirit. That only serves to keep them on the road to more unnecessary battles and enemies.

This type of person likes to test their subjects to make them fall from grace. Any showing of inner strength combined with peaceful coexistence with others and a self assured nature will disturb a person who is not yet aligned with being at peace with who they are. Their need to prove that they are strong and above others through actions like fighting, bullying, and passive-aggression, is sign of desperation to be seen as someone more important than what they really are, and to be seen as someone in control, with more authority than others when they aren’t. They see a person who is comfortable in their skin and in their being and it rattles that person who does not yet know how to be comfortable within.

In some cases those who operate this way may secretly love the way you carry yourself and the way you vibe but their need for conflict, competition and comparison, because of a lack of self love and awareness, will lead them to simultaneously feel contempt towards you. They may feel out of control and not know how to act towards you, may act extremely fickle, acting friendly one minute and throwing below-the-belt jabs the next. Almost resembling how narcissists and sociopaths behave because of their chronic and deeply rooted envy. In many cases, even in experiences I have had myself, the subject turned out to be a sociopath.

Being in your power means you consciously begin to or have done the work that many people avoid and that is diving deep into the depths of your internal problems. Addressing to yourself why it is that you have a certain insecurity or a certain disappointment in yourself, low self worth, and resentment. Being brave enough to dig into your past in order to find the root of the problems you have today. Those things are hard to face for everyone. The thing is that to gain power you have to move through those emotions and old wounds in order to process them. From there you move into the realization that in reality you are worth so much and simply allowed negative circumstances in life to shape your thinking  into a flawed and warped view of yourself. Being powerful means you take charge of changing that view into a better outlook for yourself.
When you are truly powerful you thrive, because you give and receive equally. Your soul is free from any desire to compare yourself to others. You have more time and energy for things that are productive. You free up space for inner development and growth, and you don’t give way to stagnation for too long or at all. You continually work on facing past and current pains and challenges, as well as work on healing them to free your spirit. You have energy to learn new things, and room to welcome success, peace and positive, life-changing events into your life.

Progress is Made Through Mistakes

When making a change to old habits and attitudes we sometimes make the mistake of thinking that this change should happen as soon as possible. We don’t give ourselves room for mistake.  This undermines our own ability to make the changes we seek. We become the tough and even judgmental voices that we heard growing up, and we may lose motivation.

Think back to when you were a small child. How would you have preferred to be treated when making mistakes? Even if you didn’t receive the best treatment from the adults around you, if you could go back and interact with your child self, how would you treat them when making those mistakes? How would you want to treat your own children to the best of your ability? You would be nurturing and kind. You would be encouraging and not beat down their self confidence. When messing up, you’d tell them to try again and to keep trying because something is always learned with each mistake. You’d let them know that mistakes are not bad and they part of growing and learning.

Effort always gets the momentum going. You’ve began the process and as you continue, you’re already changing. Do not stop the process by undermining what you’ve already accomplished because of a few setbacks. Disappointment is natural. We want the best for ourselves but we may not be realistic about the time it takes. Allow room for mistake, but don’t stop and settle into old ways because you may not see anything happening yet. See yourself as the small child you were, be encouraging and patient. Address yourself positively and you’ll see results over time.


Owning Yourself

When you stand in your own power you don’t fret about how someone with more money, status, “personality”, skills or more of anything, will upstage you. Standing in your own power means to have pride in yourself and what you are made of. Weather it is socially comparable as less than or more than another. In reality nothing is comparable. We all bring our own gifts to this world. I come across many people of all walks of life who are socially more successful in many areas that I may not be as successful in. I treat them with respect and acknowledge them as I would anyone else “less” or “more” successful, and it is easy for me to do that because I have overall, a healthy sense of self-respect and self-love, which I continue to work on as much as possible.


Vixen, Source: Google Images

Working on your own inner healing leads to self-appreciation. Taking a stand in not remaining stuck in certain emotions, acknowledging those emotions, and working through them, doing the spiritual work necessary and giving yourself TLC, keeps you clear of remaining stuck in insecurity. Insecurity is an emotion none of us can ever avoid but we can work through and heal from it as new stages of being and maturity come about. Acknowledging that you are insecure and working through those feelings is essential to moving forward. Regardless of outside circumstances, you will be able to network and mingle with others peacefully when you work to keep yourself in check and come to the understanding that you are a valuable person as others are. You will come to terms with the fact that everyone is different and special in their own way. No one can take your importance away from you and you can’t take the importance away from anyone. Being empowered means that the presence or existence of others and their talents, gifts, blessings and journeys will not drive you to want to destroy them or knock them off their focus in any way. You will be more inclined to focus on your progress.

Standing in your power can mean that you will keep pushing in the face of the opposition that tries to keep you distracted from the power you have within. A lot of the time that means to refrain from lowering yourself to the level of an aggressor. Simply not engaging at all.  Everyone is powerful, some people just don’t recognize that. Truly powerful people don’t feel the need to attack, be at war with or belittle anyone.